Edgy and Dull

“It’s like somebody took knife, edgy and dull and cut a six inch gash in the middle of my soul.” I’m On Fire- Bruce Springsteen. I love that song, that saying. It feels that way to me sometimes, like my soul is gashed. I don’t know what causes this displacement of feelings, this spiritual torn in half horrible feeling, I just know that sometimes it happens.

I love songs or even out of context lines from songs that get my mood. The rest of the song is pretty good as well, but that line I love.

 I would post a link to the video, but I find the video to be horribly tacky. The song is about lust. The video is about lust between a married rich women and her mechanic. I am sorry if I am old fashioned but a romance between a married women and someone other than her husband is just gross. Love or lust or whatever should not involve a spouse who is left at home, torn in half. Love should not involve hurting someone and breaking vows. Even in my fantasies I cannot muster the idea of stepping outside of my marriage.

 Although this may be because my wildest fantasies are pretty boring. Most of the time I daydream that my husband and I find ourselves separated due to some horrible *but not too horrible*  fate, like he gets lost at sea on a comfortable desert island for a few months. Meanwhile, in his absence I somehow manage to get super fit, and super hot, sell my novel to a huge publishing house and buy a home by the sea, which I manage to keep perfectly stylish and pristine. When he returns from his voyage, I am so overjoyed to see him that I never take him for granted again, and he in turn sees that without him, I have my life in perfect order and he respects me for the wonder that I am. Sure, there are a few steamy moments when he first returns from his island, but I will keep them to myself. So there you have it, my wildest fantasy involves Architecture and Martha Stewart paint…

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