Why am I up at 2:30 in the morning? Well I don't know. Since I am up why am I not writing? I don't know that either, I am studying up on stuff though. I guess I am eager to start on a new project tomorrow morning. I am collaborating with another writer and I will not get credit for the work, but I will get paid to write, and if I am going to write anyways getting paid would be nice. Yep. That is about it at two a.m.
Life goes on...
My due date is fast approaching. I have dreaded this day since I lost the baby. But I am okay. I replaced painful things with new things. New clubs for the kids, new goals for us all. There are pieces in the back of my mind that seem to bubble up sometimes. Like when I saw a brand-new baby at the store, without warning my throat closed up and I fought back tears. Why? I cannot even tell you, it was just an instant reaction. But it did not change my mood or my day. I finished my tasks and hung out with my kids all afternoon. Sometimes it hurts, but so much less than I expected a few months ago when I was lost in the pain. This is such a relief. And that is all I wanted to say today. If anyone experiences this, and needs to chat I am here sometimes just talking about it helps you climb over the mountain.
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