Some days are better than others...

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I re-read my last post about my miscarriage and I feel like I was in a better place then than I am now. I don't know how to deal with the anger, and the desire to have a baby when I can't. I keep trying to keep the faith and put on a happy face but some days it is totally fake.

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Life goes on...

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My due date is fast approaching. I have dreaded this day since I lost the baby. But I am okay. I replaced painful things with new things. New clubs for the kids, new goals for us all. There are pieces in the back of my mind that seem to bubble up sometimes. Like when I saw a brand-new baby at the store, without warning my throat closed up and I fought back tears. Why? I cannot even tell you, it was just an instant reaction. But it did not change my mood or my day.  I finished my tasks and hung out with my kids all afternoon. Sometimes it hurts, but so much less than I expected a few months ago when I was lost in the pain.      This is such a relief.       And that is all I wanted to say today.  If anyone experiences this, and needs to chat I am here sometimes just talking about it helps you climb over the mountain.
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